Hello dear community,

I hope to find you well and that you’re taking good care of yourself this holiday season.

This is definitely a ripe time of year when tensions can be high – instigated by the pressures of the societal holiday hustle and bustle. 

And, while during the holidays, we often value spending more quality time with ourselves and loved ones, conflict and challenge can also easily arise.

This has me thinking about one of the core mindsets that I teach in my business and leadership coaching programming – “Reply with Ground vs Emotionally Reacting Challenges Arise.”

The beautiful ground where I am right now, slowing down and easing into the holiday season, the place where Dave & I got married.

Here’s a deeper dive into this vital leadership mindset:

“An uninhibited queen leader replies with ground vs. emotionally reacting when challenges and obstacles come her way.

When presented with a challenge, she takes a moment to sit with the discomfort of it. She allows herself to feel ALL the feelings around it – anger, frustration, worry, and uncertainty.

From there, she identifies the lesson or learning that’s coming through from the challenge and engages in release work around the feeling that’s coming up for her.

From that space, she’s better able to respond to the situation from a more grounded space, rather than emotionally reacting to the circumstance with surface-based feelings.

But, let’s get real friends…this is a tough one – especially for a double fiery Aries sun and Sag moon like me! ;)

However, this is also a mindset that’s key to honing in and cultivating our paths of heart-centered leadership and entrepreneurship – and in our familial relations as well.

What we’re exploring here gives us the gift of space and breathing room so that we can respond vs reacting when someone says or does something we don’t like or agree with, or when something uncomfortable comes into our radar.

This is all about feeling the feelings that are coming up for you around the issue, getting some perspective, releasing the emotions that aren’t serving you, and seeing if there’s a silver lining so that you can respond from a more supportive space.

This also goes for tensions that might come up, not only with friends or family members during the holidays but also with team members, clients or students if you’re running a business.

One of the practices that I love sharing with my clients around this is to have a “Clearing Conversation” so that you can clean the slate, start fresh or gain clarity around how to gently move on from the situation.

Here’s a simple yet powerful framework for how to have a power-clearing conversation, from a grounded space of responsiveness:

Step 1 Get Some Perspective – Allow yourself some space and time to simmer down before you request to have a clearing convo. Release what you can release energetically and avoid having the conversation if you’re still SUPER heated.

Step 2 – Ask to Have a Conversation – When you’re ready, request to have a conversation. Let the person know you’d love to share some things that have been coming up for you around your relationship and see if they’d be open to having an open conversation together.

Step 3 – Take Ownership of What You Can – Start the conversation with what YOU yourself can personally take ownership of, versus blaming or shaming the other person. This allows for whomever you’re speaking with to feel safe enough to share and invites them to take ownership of their piece as well.

Step 4 – Ask for Their Take on the Matter – Once you’ve shared, ask them how sharing this with them lands or resonates, and ask them what they might have to add. This usually results in them taking ownership of their part in the conflict, and from this space, healing can begin.

Step 5 – Thank The Person for Their Perspective and Time – It takes courage to take ownership of your part in a conflict, and by thanking your counterpart you open up space for common ground to become clear and new possibilities to be revealed.

Of course, this may not work for every single relationship, and sometimes it’s clear that it’s time to move on. However, I’ve mended and tended to many relationships in my personal and professional life by utilizing this process, and hope it’s helpful for you as well…

And, now I’d love to hear from you. What’s resonating about this Clearing Conversation process? Please share in the comments below. 

Thank you so much for being a part of this community and for continuing to show up in the discomfort of the times we’ve found ourselves in over these past few years. We are truly stronger together and we here at ABC appreciate you!

With love and gratitude,