Most of us think that the reason we’re struggling with our weight is because we’re eating “bad” foods, and not working out enough. But in all of my years of study and immersing myself into this work, what I’ve discovered is that the REAL reason women struggle with their weight is actually that they are terrified of being seen.
I know this might come as a shocker to some of you, but I’m speakin’ the truth sisters! The only thing scarier than never succeeding with losing the weight is actually losing it, feeling beautiful and getting attention. The fear of being seen usually stems from childhood. When you were born, all that you knew was love, safety, and belonging. But at some point a shift in perception occurred and we started overly identify with fear. As children we were sent fearful messages by the media, the kids at school, our parents, etc. that encouraged us to create disempowering beliefs about ourselves, and our bodies.
We have been so hardwired to mentally abuse and emotionally beat ourselves up over the years, and this emotional energy has got to be expressed somehow… So we eat, we drink, we watch too much TV and numb ourselves out to deal with the pain and the disgust that we feel about our bodies. And somehow we feel safe in that space, because that’s what we know. We are so used to the hiding that when we DO step into the spotlight, we automatically feel the need to sabotage all our success, and the cycle continues…
I’ve heard and seen this story over and over again by countless numbers of women—myself included in the past. But what I will tell you is that there is indeed a better way to live our lives… a more enjoyable way—and a much more fulfilling way. What we need so badly is to get back to remembering that true and beautiful state when we were babies…the true state of LOVE. And we cannot do this unless we show ourselves some serious compassion and work through some of the emotional blocks that are holding us back from reaching our dreams.
The first step that I take my clients through is to have them write a forgiveness letter to themselves. Oh yeah babes, it’s time to F it up, for real! Forgiveness is one of the most essential healing modalities that we can use on a daily basis… Forgiveness of all the emotional abuse that we’ve shown ourselves—and the guilt, the shame, the blame, the forcing, the doing (or not doing), the trying so hard to be something that we’re not. The hatred. The disempowering victim mentality. The self-betrayal… Think about it sisters, we wouldn’t dare treat others the way we treat ourselves most of the time, am I right?
So, I invite you to write yourself a forgiveness letter today, and see what shifts for you. This practice might bring some funky stuff up for you at first, and this is totally normal. But if you REALLY desire to have fun in this life and feel good, strong and empowered in your body, I suggest you give it a whirl. Remember, your emotions have to go somewhere, and better on the paper than in that bag of potato chips!
* Today’s blog post content was inspired by passages from the great Marianne Williamson’s book, A Return To Love.